Grandpa Becomes An Alpha Male

Grandpa is making it big and is now the number one lover in the singles bars. He has his choice of all the young ladies who line up at the bar for a chance to drink and dance with him. The young guys with their empty wallets stand helplessly by and watch grandpa hog all the action. Money talks and bullshit walks, they go home alone while grandpa is taking two or three ladies to his motel room. Since grandpa found Viagra he has wisely left his family and is having the best time of his life. But grandpa’s wallet is growing thin, and without a source of income besides his small pension he will be forced to go back to grandma and the family.

There are many older men that have the same financial problem as grandpa; a woman in her mid- twenties will not go with an old man unless he is a sugar daddy. An old man has lost his youthful look and is an eyesore to beautiful women. Without enough money to entertain them grandpa will have to stay at home with his aged wife and spend his remaining years as a sexually frustrated old man. But grandpa is not doomed to a lifestyle that is so dull that he would rather not make love at all. With his small pension he can live in a third world village where he can afford to hang out in bars and date a variety of beautiful women. He will be in big demand to women that don’t even have a dollar in savings. Those villages are full of poverty stricken females that are taught by their families that financial security is more important then having a poor guy with a youthful appearance. Grandpa will surely become an Alpha Male in the village and will be glad that he made the trip.

All of the modern cities in Asia are geared for the tourist trade and are expensive. Most bars are frequented by high priced prostitutes and only a guy with lots of money to spend can afford them. The hotels are as costly as those in the western world so if you are looking for a cheap vacation and sex life stay away. But if you are an adventurous older man with only a limited income there are inexpensive places to live. You will also find many youthful looking women in their mid- twenties that will be glad to date you. Start off in Vientiane, Lao and work your way into the rural areas. Your stay in Vientiane will be affordable. A decent room will run you only three hundred dollars a month. In a short time you will have all the information you need to leave Vientiane and settle down into the perfect rural village. Once there your sexual fantasies will become real.

I would like to make one fact clear: Men by nature need a variety of women. This is not a theory but a perfectly demonstrated reality. Those men that are in the position to have many bedroom partners always do. The Alpha Male and Rich Man are constantly making love to new women. It is impossible for one or two females to keep them in check. Most males are not alpha or rich, and therefore not in the position to find attractive multi-mates. We are living in a world full of sexually frustrated men. The only way that situation can be changed is by turning those poor and sexually frustrated guys into rich men. This would not be hard to do if we encouraged all the grandpas with their small pension checks to emigrate to poor villages in third and fourth world countries. In those low income villages where few people earn more than five hundred dollars a year Grandpa would be a rich man. He could easily afford to entertain a variety of females. Not only would he be making himself happy, but he would be a savior to the poor and hungry women of the third and forth world villages. Grandpas would be welcome in every poor home and be given the massive love and affection they crave. This plan would go a long way to end poverty in small obscure villages and partially end sexual frustration in the western world.

The reason I am writing this article is out of compassion for the men who have no other choice except to make love to one or two old ladies. They have been victimized by economic circumstances and fear of change. I was one of those unfortunate men and suffered a low quality love life. But I will shortly be leaving for a rural village in South East Asia and make up for lost time. If this article can help just a few guys improve their sexual lifestyle my effort has not gone to waste.

melviiin1@verizon.net

Becoming An Alpha Male In A third World Village « My Weblog

Becoming An Alpha Male In A third World Village « My Weblog

Finding Happiness Without Being Slim

It is not easy for people that are obese to change their eating habits. The person has become obsessed with food and only through a super-human effort can eating habits be changed. Food and lots of it have become a way of life. The markets are full of the most delicious foods, and their variety is overwhelming. Once sampled it is almost impossible to give them up. It is easier for dope addicts to break their addiction than for a person to change their eating habits. The lives of people who are obese are seldom discussed or written about. People only want to hear about or look at beautiful people. The obese have become invisible in the media, and the show rooms in the fashion industry allow only slim men and women to enter them. The clothing shops seldom carry large sizes and even if they did a heavy person has lost the desire to try them on. If they are single, finding a good mate is next to impossible, most have to spend their lives in loneliness. Even those that have close family ties still are lonely and have little self esteem. The average person has no sympathy for people that are obese, they think dieting is easy, and the over weight person is at fault. But that is not true; the struggle to lose weight can be won by some, but is difficult for others.

Over eating is the main cause of being over weight. Less food equals less weight. The media is full of dieting programs that promise its followers that they will lose weight. A few of them are helpful. There are some people who were over weight and have dieted successfully. They are now happier with themselves and are no longer an eyesore to others. The new life they lead is suddenly full of helpful people and smiling faces. Now that they have realized the importance of a good appearance, few of them will ever let themselves become heavy again

Obese people have a wide range of problems; most of them are caused by being overweight. Their negative appearance puts them in a class of people who are trapped in a social and emotional hell. Because of their eating disorder some psychiatrists consider them to be dysfunctional, and also mentally ill. If the condition is severe enough doctors say that they should be given federal disability payments. It is hard for a heavy person to get a low cost life or health insurance policy, which is because overweight people are seldom healthy. Statistics show that being over weight takes ten years off a person’s life. Job Interviewers give the edge to those that keep their weight down. They feel that a person who can’t control their eating habits is a poor hiring choice. They also feel that the good appearance of a firm’s employees adds to the stature of the company

Dieting has not helped and you will always be heavy. How can you learn to deal with your weight problem? The first thing to do is accept the fact that fat is not beautiful and that you have to live with it. A dwarf never says that short is beautiful but learns to accept the limitations nature imposed, and goes on from there to find a good life. It is no different with a person that is over weight. If you accept your limitations you will be in a position to improve yourself socially and financially. Another thing to be aware of is that nobody will love your fat except a rare individual. So stop looking for fat lovers— it is a waste of time.

If you are over weight and looking for a job, opportunity is limited. There are ten slim applicants for every decent job. The best strategy in that case is to humble your self and be willing to work long hours for less pay. A boss is always looking for a bargain and you will be it. Once you get the job work hard and that job will be yours. Let the slim job seekers run their own race and you run yours.

Getting a mate without being slim is an art in itself. Again the fat becomes a disadvantage that has to be overcome. If a guy is over weight he can be generous and most women will be happy to date him. If he is cheap he will have to stay home alone. A heavy woman will have to offer something besides her fat to a guy. It is usually hot love. It would help if she had other special qualities outside of her bedroom. Fat people are not attracted to one another because of the heavy layers of fat that they carry. If you look deep into their relationship you will see other reasons that have nothing to do with their weight

It’s a give and take world and without a good appearance you better learn how to give a lot. There is no other way. If you stand firm and say that being heavy has little to do with the way people look at you, get ready for a cruel awakening. Being heavy is an eye sore and you have to accept that as a fact. Flexibility and compromise are the magic words that are needed if an over weight person is going to get a shot at having a decent life.

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I Married A miser

We first met on a camping trip It was love at first sight and we were married shortly afterwards. I was with my parents when I first saw him, he was sitting on a rock tossing pebbles into the water, and his shirt was off displaying a beautifully built upper torso. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. He turned around and smiled at me, and I instantly melted. We were soon sitting on the same rock tossing pebbles into the water. My parents got the message and kept on walking. It was the perfect beginning of a great love affair. He lived alone in a studio apartment, and I met him there often. We both loved to take long walks in the evening and gaze at the stars. But he never took me out dancing or to a restaurant, I asked him why. He said he wanted to concentrate on me and the presence of others distracted him. I accepted that answer never thinking that he didn’t like to spend money and that he was a cheapskate.Some people don’t like to spend money and they have every right to hold on tight to a buck. People say that they love money above everything else, but that is not true. Some of the most frugal people have a wide array of interests. Frugal people are seen in public libraries and parks. Many of them are sun worshippers and love the great outdoors. Most of them are helpful and very spiritual; generally they tend to be great conversationalists. The only thing that separates them from others is they hate to spend a buck, and that lifestyle annoys those that know them well.We have been married for over five years, and now have a young child. The three of us are crammed into the same studio he had when I first met him. I asked him to find a larger apartment but he won’t spend the money. The food shopping is done by him, and since he is a vegetarian meat products are not allowed into the studio. Most of the shopping is done in a market that lets him gather up all the spoiled fruits and vegetables; he gets them for free claiming that they are for his rabbits. My man just hates to spend a buck. But he is still the great lover he was when I first met him, and also a wonderful guy. I would not trade him in for the big spender that would buy me everything. I married a miser and am glad that I did. http://360.yahoo.com/melvin_polatnick

The Bag Lady Busts The Tycoon

Roxbury the Bag Lady and Isis the Nicest were sitting on cardboard boxes playing rummy while the rest of the women were picking up litter from the parking lot. It was left over from last night’s birthday party given for Selene and Phoebe; they were the twin daughters of Crazy Momma. Her seven daughters all lived in the parking lot with her. They once took turns beating their father after he struck their mother. They would have killed him if Isis didn’t stop them. She carried her father down the stairs and dumped him in the gutter. He never returned. From that day on they called her Isis the Nicest.

  

 A group of well dressed women appeared in the parking lot, they were led by Teresa Nightinggale. They were volunteers that offered their services to sick can ladies and would collect cans for them until their health returned. All of them were independent women who rarely socialized with men. Helping women overcome their hardships was their only interest and they were here to help the can ladies. Roxbury and her friends listened intensively as Teresa told a story about a thief in a wheel chair. He was snatching the purses of can ladies after they had cashed in their cans His wheel chair was a high speed version and he was impossible to catch. The villain only robs women who collect cans, which is puzzling. Women who have had their purses snatched say he wears a ski mask and polo with the logo: I Hate Eyesores. Over five hundred can ladies have been robbed and many of them are starting to leave the city. If he is not quickly caught and punished the bag lady in L.A. will be a woman of the past.

 

After weeks of staking out spots where the thief in the wheel chair previously struck, Roxbury and her friends found out that he was impossible to catch. Even if seen committing a robbery there was no way to catch up to a wheel chair traveling at forty five miles an hour. It was agreed that the thief harbored a hatred of women and in particular can ladies. The bag ladies had only one clue to work on, and that was his fast moving wheel chair. Roxbury, Selene and Phoebe went to the biggest supplier of wheel chairs in the city and spoke to the owner. She was a woman in her forties who was shocked at the story.  She said that she had never seen or sold a wheel chair that could travel at such speed. But if it was manufactured it had to be custom made. There was only one shop in L.A. that could put that type of chair together and that was Roy’s and she gave Roxbury the address. The woman also gave the three ladies the address of the women’s health spa that she owned; she said that it was converted into a disco in the evening, and that they were welcome to use the facilities free of charge. Roxbury thanked the woman for showing such kindness and said that they would sleep on her offer.

  

Roy was working on a motorized bicycle when the bag ladies entered his shop. He looked at the women and said that there were no toilet facilities.

Roxbury angrily replied that they were not interested in using a toilet but having a custom made wheel chair built. She said that it must be capable of high speed. Roy said that he had just sold one and he could also build one for them. Roy said it would cost them at least fifty thousand dollars. The women agreed on the price but they wanted to take a look at the wheel chair that had previously been built. They were then given the business card of Horace Mcgreedy the real estate tycoon. Roy said that Horace was the proud owner of the speediest wheel chair in L.A. and he would be delighted to show it to them

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Roxbury, Selene and Phoebe entered the forty story high Mcgreedy building and were stunned at the beauty of the mosaic marble floors in the lobby. It was then that they noticed a large table filled with hundreds of used ladies hand bags. They were being sold for the bargain price of five dollars each. Selene asked the sales woman how it was possible to sell the leather bags so cheaply. She said that they were being sold for Horace Mcgreedy and his source was being kept secret. They then took the express elevator up to the penthouse office of the tycoon. After telling Horace that three women were interested in looking at his wheel chair the receptionist buzzed them in. He was a man in the early eighties and was sitting on his wheel chair wearing a white polo with the logo: I Hate Eyesores.  Roxbury then told him the real reason that they wanted to see him. Horace knew that he was caught and there was no escape. He said that the can ladies were opening up trash bags in the high rent neighborhoods and creating an eyesore. It was causing his property values to plunge. The only way to restore real estate values was to chase them out of town. The plan was working until you three ladies entered my office. The tycoon offered Roxbury and her friend’s full possession of his villa in Switzerland if they would let him continue his mission. His offer was refused.  They then told him what they wanted in exchange for letting him off the hook. He reluctantly agreed to the demands forced upon him by Roxbury.

  

Ten can counting machines were set up in front of the Horace Mcgreedy Building. The machines were set to pay out ten cents a can. That was double the amount that was previously offered. Bag ladies from all over the country came to L.A. to reap the harvest. Real estate values did plunge but the value of a bag ladies life rose. Horace became the hero and savior of the bag ladies who never knew the real reason behind his generosity.

  

A new dumpster was deposited in the parking lot. It was twice the size of the old one and made of stainless steel. It was donated by the can ladies of L.A.  Roxbury and her friends couldn’t wait until it was full of all kind of goodies. But they would miss the old dumpster even if Horace Mcgreedy would have called it an eyesore.

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The Bag Lady Gets Wet

It was ninety five degrees and the parking lot pavement was starting to get sticky. There was no breeze blowing and all ten bag ladies in the parking lot were low in spirit. As usual, Roxbury the bag lady came to the rescue. She opened the water hose that was in back of the fast food restaurant and asked the women to strip. At first they were a little shy but when Roxbury led the way they all followed. It was a joyful sight as ten over heated women were sprayed with cold water. The motorists in the parking lot were astonished to see such a display, but they understood that it was a hot day and the bag ladies needed some relief from the heat. After a few hours of jumping, laughing, and splashing the women were getting hungry. Roxbury then shut off the water and went to get dressed. She was shocked to find that all the clothes were gone. Some sadistic person had made off with the women’s clothing.  The bag ladies were furious and wanted revenge, but first they needed their clothes. They knew that Roxbury would find a way to get them back and they hoped that it was done quickly. Roxbury volunteered to enter the fast food restaurant in front of the parking lot and ask the manager for something to wear. She walked in completely nude covered by small paper bag.  The customers almost chocked on their food when they saw her coming in. One conservative lady was so shocked that she screamed. Roxbury explained to the manager what had happened. The manager then went into the laundry room and returned with soiled uniforms to clothe Roxbury and her friends.

 

After two days of searching through the city dump and trying on women’s dresses the bag ladies were back in style. They returned to the dumpster with an anger that was almost uncontrollable. They would not sleep until they found the person that had stolen their clothes. The bag ladies roamed the city for days searching for any information that would lead them to the villain. They soon found out that there was a male psycho running loose in the city cutting holes in the bags that can ladies used to carry their cans. He was also putting crazy glue on uncollected cans waiting for the can ladies to grab them.  To make matters even worse the psycho was throwing bleach into dumpsters making the food inside inedible for the dumpster diving population. It was also discovered that he was an escapee from a city mental ward where he was committed for playing dangerous pranks on women. The nurses there hoped he never would be returned. They were also victims of his terrible sense of humor. His nick name is Pokum Jokum and his first joke was played on his mother when he threw her keys into the lion’s cage at the zoo. The intensity of his sadistic jokes increased until his mother was driven mad. Pokum was then put into a group home in which he caused havoc. One of his jokes was to break into the female residents lockers and throw their cosmetics down the incinerator chute. He was later institutionalized when he spilled ink on a nurse’s hair after she returned from the beauty parlor. The psychiatrists said that he was not a violent person but had to vent his anger against women in the only way he knew how. He also added that he would be cured if he ran into the wrong woman and got a good ass whipping.

  

He was spotted by Isis who was one of Crazy Mommas seven daughters. Pokum Jokum was busy screwing up the mechanism of a can counting machine that the can ladies used to turn in their cans. There were deep scratch marks all over his face. It was obviously put there by a can lady that didn’t find his sense of humor funny. Isis grabbed him by the hair and kicked his legs out from under him. When he was on the floor she kicked him in the face.  Pokum Jokum then remembered her as one of the women whose clothes he had stolen and he knew that was going to pay heavily for his joke. Crazy Momma made sure her seven daughters were experts in combat. Isis learned how to fight well and she feared no man. Isis then dragged him through the streets by the hair until they arrived at the dumpster. The bag ladies were glad to see the prank playing sadist that Isis had come home with. They now were going to pay him back for stealing their clothes and humiliating them.

 

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Roxbury tied Pokum Jokum to the dumpster and blindfolded him. Now it was time to cure Pokum Jokum Of his sadistic sense of humor.  He had been responsible for stealing their clothes and making life difficult for many can ladies. The payback started.  Each of the bag ladies loudly suggested how the jokester should be punished. This was done within hearing distance of Pokum Jokum. Roxbury said she wanted to castrate him. Giant begged to have a chance to douse him in gasoline and set him on fire, Crazy Momma and her seven daughters wanted to beat him to death. They agreed that Giant had the best answer, and that he was to be set on fire. Isis put her finger into the tank of a car in the parking lot and let blind folded Pokum sniff it. She told him that it was time for him to be burned alive. He screamed in fear and then passed out. Pokum was than deposited in the psycho ward where he had first escaped. The nurses were angry that he was returned, but Roxbury assured them that he had lost his sense of humor and would no longer play tricks on them.

  

Roxbury was holding the hose and spraying her friends with cold water. It was ninety eight degrees in L.A. and they were happy to cool off. A few women that had parked their cars near the dumpster took off their clothes and joined the fun. It was a happy crowd of good people that wanted to escape the heat. Roxbury knew that her clothes were safe and she was not in any hurry to put them back on.

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The Bag Lady Restores Peace To The Can Ladies

Roxbury was a bag lady and she had just finished a combo luncheon that she had just put together; it was found after an hour of dumpster diving. It consisted of chunks of burger, franks and broccoli; and was washed down with three partially filled cans of coke and ginger ale. She was now in the mood to celebrate her good fortune, so she took out her harmonica and started playing polka music. The rest of the bag ladies joined the festivities and danced to the uplifting tunes. But the music stopped when a can collecting lady appeared. She had four sacks full of cans and could hardly walk. A look of fear was plainly written on her face and everyone was frozen in place waiting for her to speak. The can lady told a story of horror. She said that three can ladies were found dead with teeth marks all over them and that there was fear spreading all over the can collecting community. Many can ladies had given up their collection routes and had left the city. Their cans were being taken away by beggar bums, this has never happened before. There is an unwritten law that says that the corners of the city were a place for bums to beg on, and can collecting was reserved for women. Bag Ladies, Can Ladies, and Bums, have a different lifestyle and they seldom inter-mingle .A bag lady lives off a dumpster while the can lady purchases her food from the proceeds of her can collection, and the bum begs on a corner. Now the rules were being broken and bums were now collecting cans. Threatening notes were found on top of piles of cans, it said that any woman that continued collecting cans would be bitten to death. Roxbury said that she would protect her and asked the can lady to live in her dumpster diving community until those that were responsible for biting the can collecting ladies were punished. The can lady said that she would be flexible and live in the dumpster diving community until Roxbury restored safety to her can collecting way of life.

   

 

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 Roxbury spoke to Crazy Momma, her seven daughters and Giant. They all shared the same dumpster and were loyal to one another. She knew that each was unbeatable in combat and told them her plan. Their job would be to get the bums off the can collection routes and give them back to the can ladies. It would involve violence but there was no other way to solve the problem. Roxbury said that it was very important to find out who the leader of the bums was so that she could deal with him personally. There was havoc in the city for the next few days; the emergency rooms of the hospitals were full of badly beaten bums. They said that an army of hate filled women had attacked them without showing mercy. The bums all said that they would go back to begging on the corners, and never collect cans again.

  

Roxbury thanked her loyal dumpster diving friends and was happy to hear that they had the name of the guy who had bitten to death the three can ladies. His name was Biting Louie and he was a vicious ex-pimp that was driven out of the mid-west by a tough woman whose daughter he tried to abuse. She beat him to a pulp and left him for dead. He now was in the business of selling can routes to bums. The three women that he killed refused to give up their can routes; they were bitten to death by Biting Louie as an example to other can ladies. He is now living with an abused mentally ill woman in a hotel. She is too frightened to leave him, and was told, that if she ever left, and he found her, he would bite her to death. His address was then given to Roxbury by Crazy Momma.

  

 The hotel looked like it should have been torn down fifty years ago. It was kept open as a haven for bums that couldn’t find affordable housing. The entrance was blocked by a group of men sharing a gallon of wine. Roxbury asked them to clear a path for her so she could enter the hotel. One of the bums spit in her face. A second latter he was on the ground screaming in pain while holding his crotch. The rest of the bums got out of the way and gladly let her make her way into the hotels entrance. Roxbury knocked on the door where Biting Louie lived, there was no answer. But a whimpering cry was coming from inside the room. Roxbury opened the door. Biting Louie was not at home, but there was a partially dressed woman on the floor weeping. There were teeth marks all over her body. The woman told stories of how she was constantly being bitten, and had no place to run. Roxbury kissed her on the cheek and said that she had a place for her to go. But first Biting Louie had to be given what he deserved. The door opened and there he stood. He was big and tall, his faced was full of the scars that he had earned from a life time of hurting others. With open jaws he lunged at Roxbury biting her on the nose and the blood flowed down to her chin. She replied with an extended palm that broke his windpipe and left him on the ground gasping for air. An empty soda can was then forced down his throat as a pay-back for what he did to the can ladies. Roxbury than lifted him up and threw him out of the hotel room window. He plunged five stories to his death. That was Devine Justice for the most evil of men.

 

They were all sitting around the dumpster laughing and telling jokes. Roxbury still sported a Band-Aid on her nose. There was a new woman in the group that was laughing along with them. She was the one that was held captive by Biting Louie. All signs of her being mentally ill were gone; and she now had found a happy home. The can ladies slowly returned to the city and they were never harassed again.

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Horny Men

Single women are wasting their time trying to look good in order to attract a lover. A man will screw any female that is available; all she has to do is ask him. Some guys will even screw a man if they get horny enough. So instead of spending all that time in front of a mirror dolling yourself up, use that time thinking of ways to let a horny guy know that you are ready for a hot session in your bedroom. But when you meet that horny guy you must tell him that it’s not conversation or dinner that you are want, but only hot loving. I am sure that if you follow my instructions you will have a variety of men in your bedroom, and in a short time you will have to replace a worn out mattress.

Deep down inside all women realize that a horny man will screw them whether they look good or not, but they refuse to accept that truth. Women like to think of themselves as being more important to men than just a way of releasing their sexual passions. But the fact remains that a horny man will screw a woman even if she has never bathed in her life. Some of the bag ladies you see on the street will confirm that fact.

Attractive women are dated more often, they rarely are lonely, and they are always seen on their cell phones speaking to one of their many boyfriends. At the singles bars, the pretty women have guys all around them while fat or homely ladies sit sadly alone. Any observer would say that attractive women are in demand and have more fun. But is the only reason that men gravitate toward beautiful women because of sexual attraction? There is another reason behind it, and that is vanity. A mans self esteem is raised by going to bed, or even being seen with an attractive woman.

If a woman is not interested in becoming a trophy for some guy that likes to show her off, she can have a great time by screwing any guy she wants. Throw away your cosmetics and cancel your beauty parlor appointments, they wont help getting you laid. Horny men are waiting for a woman that is focused on having a good orgasm. They will quit their attractive and expensive girlfriend for lots of hot days and nights in your bedroom. A horny man that is being pleased will forget about his search for a trophy woman and become your steady lover. Don’t be shy, ask the first man that you see if he needs a good screw, and you will never be disappointed by his answer.

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My Promiscuous Wife

first saw her at the disco. She was beautiful, and was exploding with sexual energy. She shook her hips and smiled adoringly at me. We drank and danced till dawn. Rather than going home we spent the rest of the day in the camper that was parked outside. We were married in a small ceremony a few months later.As time went on I began to understand her more fully. I discovered that not only was she a passionate woman, but also an adventurous one. It was possible for me to satisfy her sexually, but I could not provide the novelty that she required. That novelty was sexual contact with new men. When she confessed her sexual needs, I was hurt and confused, but she assured me that I was her main man and that she was deeply in love with me. She also said that she would never leave me.

I always believed marriage was a sacred institution. It is supposed to be between two people that are sworn to be faithful to one another. They have taken a vow that for better or worse, in sickness and in health they will be together. That concept is a beautiful idea and it should be respected. I also believe that married couples have an obligation to share the many psychological problems that life throws at them.

My wife has a psychological problem and I will not desert her because of it. I don’t like the idea that she desires the sexual company of new men, but I am in love with her, and have accepted her special needs. She goes out three nights a week to the same disco where I first met her. Since she is a beautiful woman it doesn’t take long before she meets a horny guy. Most of the time they go to a near by motel, and do their thing. Out of respect for me, she is always back home before daybreak

My married life is not on the rocks, but has gotten better since my wife started to date new men. Not only is she a happier person but she has become fantastic in the bedroom. I never knew that there were so many ways to make love. The guys that she has been dating are very experienced and have taught her well.

We are a happy married couple, and madly in love. I am sure our marriage will last as long as we live.

The Bag lady Solves A Murder

The bag lady was whistling a tune that she learned as a cheer leader at Cambridge. She remembered how it had inspired the football team to climb to the top of the their division. But that chapter of her life has passed. Her new life began when a life-like voice in the middle of a dream told her to go to L.A.    It said that when she got there she would receive further instructions. But she paid no attention to the dream and chalked it up to a poor nights sleep. A few weeks latter she was on a flight to Hawaii as a graduation present from her family. The airplane suddenly started to experience severe rocking and shifting, the pilot radioed The L.A. airport and said that he was going to make an emergency landing. The Plane crashed into the runway and the next thing she knew a nurse was telling her that she was lucky to be alive. Nobody else survived the crash.  The next day she was discharged. As she was walking down Santa Monica Boulevard thinking of the mysterious force that had deposited her in L.A., a flashing light appeared in the parking lot, it was coming from a dumpster and she knew instinctively that is where her next home would be.

 

The Bag lady had found all that she needed in the dumpster. It provided all the clothes she wanted and more. People were always throwing away things that they got tired of, and the bag lady had her choice. A few fast food restaurants used the dumpster and deposited a variety of goodies. There were lots of half full soda and filtered water bottles to wash down a mouth full of fish or burgers. The most important thing was the peace of mind that she found living close to the dumpster. She thanked the voice that sent her here, and even though she could not see who it was she knew that her thanks were heard.

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As she was poking around deep inside the dumpster she found a wallet. It came as no surprise since people were always throwing away worn out things. But the wallet looked brand new and it was bursting with credit cards and cash. She carefully climbed out of the dumpster and sat down on the concrete. After counting three thousand dollars the bag lady came to the conclusion that it was lost and swept up as garbage. It was up to her to get it back to the owner. There was a photo of a beautiful Asian woman standing beside two children with the name of a restaurant on the back. There were also many credit cards with the name and the address of a middle aged man. The bag lady concluded that he must be the owner of the wallet and she will go to his home and return it.

  

The name on the bell said apartment 2E she rang it many times, but there was no answer. She climbed the stairs to knock on his door and found it half open. On the floor was a man with a knife in his back. She listened for a heartbeat and there was none. The only thing for her to do was leave the apartment and figure out what her next move would be. The right move would be to return to the dumpster and just think.

  

The bag lady did not want to keep the wallet with its cash. She decided to give it to the woman whose photo appeared in the wallet. It would not be hard to find her since her name and the address of the restaurant appeared on the back of the photo. She went to the restaurant and saw her. She was working as a waitress. The bag lady approached her and said that she had something important to discuss and had a gift for her left by a dead friend. The waitress said that she was busy and would meet her after work. They agreed to meet by the dumpster in the evening. It was dark and the bag lady sat on the concrete next to the dumpster waiting for the waitress to arrive. She thought that she had made the right decision and was glad that there was someone to return the wallet to. Out of the dark appeared the waitress with a long knife in her hand. She lunged at the bag lady not thinking that her victim was a Martial Artist. The bag lady disarmed her by a swift kick to the stomach. After a conversation the waitress confessed that she was a murderer and that she did it to prevent deportation of her and her two children to China. The dead man was blackmailing her and threatened to expose her as an illegal alien. She had no choice but to kill him. The bag lady gave her the cash and threw the wallet into the dumpster. She kissed the waitress on the cheek and wished her and her children a happy future in America.

  

  It was a busy day for the bag lady. A new load of goodies had arrived. She even found the latest newspaper on top of a bag of cookies. There was an article in it about an unsolved murder. The police said that the dead man was a victim of a robbery because his wallet was missing, and they had no clues in the case.

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